Camping Terms for the Clueless: A Guide for the Uninitiated and A Saga of Betrayal (by Rain)

For those of you who haven’t read my previous blogs (rude), let me catch you up. I decided I wanted to explore my inner wilderness warrior. A soon-to-be one-with-nature type of person. I went all in—bought the basics, (thanks Shein), and was ready to embrace the great outdoors.....in a tent!!!

And then...&^%$# rain...the entire week before the big event.

DAMN YOU, RAIN. DAMN YOU AGAIN.

I had been so smug, blogging about how a little drizzle never stops me from hiking. How I laugh in the face of weather. And then? The mother of all hikes. The trip where my hiking buddy, "Her" and I were going to WILD CAMP for a night with a group. Destroyed. Obliterated. Wiped off the calendar by biblical-level downpours.

We were so excited for the great outdoors. Fresh air , scenic views, and the occasional realization that we had made a terrible mistake.

Ended before it even began. All those people who replied to my blog suggesting I definitely don't start with wild camping first....the ones I laughed in the face of...you got what you wanted...sniff sniff

Now, although my actual adventure didn’t happen (not sure if you caught that yet), I had looked into some camping terms, because if I couldn’t survive the wilderness, I could at least survive a conversation about it.

Backpacking: Suffering With Extra Steps

This is for those who think carrying all of their worldly possessions on their back sounds like a fun weekend.

It’s hiking, but with you as the pack mule. And If you didn’t pack it, you don’t have it. Hope you enjoy your sad little freeze-dried meals and rationed squares of toilet paper!

Slackpacking: Cheating, But Still Outdoorsy

Backpacking, but for people who would rather enjoy nature without being the mule.

Slackpackers get the best of both worlds: scenic hikes during the day, carrying a cute little backpack with just snacks and good vibes, while their actual gear is magically transported to their destination. At night, they retrieve their belongings.

Bordering on glamping without the "glam"—and honestly, I respect the hustle.

Base Camp: Nature’s Version of a Couch Potato

A fancy way of saying, This is home now. Base camp is where you dump your gear, cook your meals, and stare dramatically into the distance, questioning your life choices before tackling that ridiculously over-ambitious hike you signed up for.

Bonus points if you’re actually camping—and not just sleeping in a 20-person dormitory, which is basically a hostel that went to private school.

Wild Camping: Because Regular Camping Wasn’t Hardcore Enough

Wild camping is what happens when you look at a perfectly good campsite with bathrooms, fire pits, and designated spots and think, Nah, too easy. 

Instead of staying where normal humans camp, you wander off into the middle of nowhere and hope for the best. No reservations, no amenities, and definitely no porta potty—just you, nature, and whatever mistakes you packed in your backpack.

It’s basically what happens when you combine survival with poor planning. Well done if that rustling in the bushes does not phase you in the least. You’re a wild camper now.

Rustic Camping: The Art of Making Yourself Miserable on Purpose

Rustic camping is for those who think regular camping is too luxurious. No running water? Perfect. No electricity? Even better. Want to cook your meals over a fire you struggled to start for an hour? Welcome to the rustic life.

It’s the middle ground between camping at a site with ablutions and electricity and wild camping. You get a tent, maybe a picnic table if you’re lucky, and the smug satisfaction of knowing you’re tougher than those "other "campers with their toilets, hot showers and electricity.

So, in case you wanted an update... my first camping experience might just have gone from wild to rustic, from fearless adventurer to maybe the universe knows I’m not built for this.

But best believe—I’m not giving up. Whether it’s under the stars, in a cabin, or just watching Into the Wild from my couch, I’m still on this journey.

Damn you, rain. Damn you again.