Clarence Day 1:Back Off, I’m Hiking

jeeksparties8
Jun 20
3 min read

Just a quick recap for those of you keeping score — this weekend was all about me… Shocking, I know,

Saturday marked my “Back Off” Day (formerly known as my birthday, now re-branded in an attempt to prevent ageing).

Sunday? Father’s Day — which I was an honorary recipient of. Don’t question it. Accept it. Applaud accordingly.

Naturally, I expected to be properly pampered, which in my world means hiking.

Both Salt and Pepper signed on for a full hiking weekend in Clarens and Fouriesburg. An entire weekend. Together. That hasn’t happened in actual yonks

And of course, Nutmeg, Salt’s better half and newly-inducted member to our spice rack was joining, likely wondering what experimental therapy she’d accidentally agreed to.

Now, hiking: it’s a vacation in disguise. A sneaky little getaway wrapped in active wear. Every weekend, I feel like I’m on holiday — without blowing the budget or selling a kidney.

A day hike is the ultimate low-cost, high-reward escape — a break from the mundane, time amongst beautiful nature, and your legs muttering, “This is abuse.”

A weekend hike? That’s the cheat code to feeling like you’ve had a proper getaway — minus the credit card trauma. Just fresh air, views, and the smug satisfaction of dodging both debt and society.

Anyway, Salt, Pepper, Nutmeg, and Yours Truly left home at 5:30 AM — which, considering Pepper was involved, is what scientists might call a statistical anomaly and I call a blessed miracle.

First stop: Golden Gate Highlands National Park.

Salt and I had been the previous year— the hikes are undeniably gorgeous. But here’s the thing: some people love touristy, people-y places.

We prefer to hike like we’re the last humans on Earth.

The moment we arrived, I remembered how busy it got. The kind of place where you spend more time dodging people on the trail than enjoying it.

No matter how beautiful Golden Gate is, it was just too busy for our taste. So we noped out and headed straight to Clarens proper.

Now that was more like it! The town had a buzz — but the trails? Blissfully quiet.

We tackled the Clarens Mountain Trail — Salt and I had done it before, but I had not documented it, so, as we know...didn't happen.

The trail? Think unbelievable sandstone cliffs, a winter waterfall doing its chilly thing, plus inclines, declines, and just enough rock scrambling to make me feel like a gangsta hag celebrating her one-year-older, zero-years-wiser day.

The views? Stupidly beautiful. When you hit the top, it’s all peace, perspective, and clean air.

You look out over the little village of Clarens, tucked into the landscape with mountains standing proud behind it — and I swear they were snow-capped (don’t fight me).

On top of that, there’s something about the trees in Clarens…Especially those tall, moody ones that look like dead pine trees. (Yes, bite me — I don’t know their proper names. For someone who’s so obsessed with trees, I’m shockingly bad at identifying them.

I like to call it “emotional botany.” I don’t know what they are, but I know how they make me feel.

And they make everywhere in Clarens look like Switzerland — to me, anyway.

Are there even pine trees in Switzerland? No idea. Do I care? Also no. In my mind, Clarens is basically the South African version of a postcard from the Alps. There, I said it.

When I mentioned it reminded me of a Swiss village, Pepper snorted. Loudly. But I caught them later, squinting at the peaks like, “...okay, fine. Fair.”

Clarens has multiple trail options, but for a solid “get a hike in before getting to the accomodation” kind of day, it was perfect.

We wrapped it up with a charming meal at one of those adorably rustic, just hipster enough spots that Clarens is filled with, and then headed to our accommodation: Rosinasdal Gaste Plaas. A peaceful and isolated farm. It is 14 km from Fouriesburg, 25 km from Clarens, surrounded by mountains, and just isolated enough to forget that the world exists.

There was a dam just a few meters from our room, and the sun setting over the farm looked like something straight out of a desktop wallpaper. It was the perfect ending to an already spectacular day.

So yes — hiking. It’s cheaper than therapy, less awkward than family dinners, and teaches you life skills you didn’t even know you were lacking.

Would recommend. Will absolutely repeat.

RATINGS

AREA - Clarens

COST

R 40 for the permit lasting a few days.

DIFFICULTY

Not for beginners.