Escaping the Chaos of Joburg Traffic at Moreleta Kloof, But Still Owed a Hike"

Okay, so I was suitably miff recently, because on a recent Saturday (yes, one of the two sacred hiking days), it decided to rain.

RAIN. Seriously?

On a Saturday??

You have got to be kidding me.

Of course, I could’ve still hiked, but no one would join me.

And I wasn’t about to slip, break a leg, and become someone’s "tragic Monday morning discovery."

So, Saturday was a total write-off.

Instead of being out in nature, I lazed around... lazed around, as if that’s somehow okay. It's not.

Honestly, my weekend hikes are basically my sanctioned escape from chaos.

I leave the mayhem, walk into nature, and somehow still manage to act surprised when it looks incredible.

Anyway. Sunday.

My son, Pepper, came along again.

At this point he’s basically part of the "roster."

I assume he and his brother Salt negotiated custody arrangements at some point and I just wasn’t invited to the meeting.

So yes. Tag-team momsitting - but outdoors.

Our first destination was Klapperkop Nature Reserve in Pretoria.

I had spotted it on my radar at some point.

Upon arrival, we were greeted by.....confusion.

There was a gate, a guard hut, but no guard, no pay station, just a few people wandering around.

After stopping a woman on her Sunday morning walk, we were informed that it’s one of those "just walk wherever" situations.

No payment required.

A free-for-all hike.

She looked confused that we looked confused, 

Honestly, it’s probably best Pepper and I stay on the clueless list permanently - less paperwork, fewer questions, and who needs clarity anyway?

Confusion is basically our brand at this point!

So, no fees. No maps. Just vibes.

Which sounds great in theory, except we immediately didn’t trust it.

It looked like it could’ve been amazing, which only made it worse.

Plan B kicked in which was Moreleta Kloof in Pretoria, a trail I actually did want to revisit.

Pepper, Salt, and I had hiked there together "pre-tag team days," if you will. 

I’d seen photos from a colleague's hike there not long after and had a big “no waaaaay” moment.

The pictures were beautiful, full of wildlife and lush plants - none of which we saw.

Apparently, we had taken the "Boring, No-Wildlife-Just-Plants-You-Don’t-Care-About" trail.

So, off to Moreleta we went.

The trail seemed a bit short for my usual ambitious standards - especially after my zero-intensity Saturday.

I was ready for something big, but clearly, the universe had other plans for me this weekend.

And then, just 5 minutes in, the Universe finally did something right: we were greeted by ostriches, zebras, springbok, and duikers.

Seriously, how is it that you can be so humbled by wildlife?

Like, find me the one person who isn’t!

They’re either a corpse or they haven’t had Bambi stare into their soul yet.

The trail itself? Perfectly gentle, nothing too intense - no lung-busting hills.

Just a nice, peaceful walk.

Could I have gone for a few more kilometers? Sure.

But it was still enough to make me feel accomplished. 

So, Universe, you nearly blew it this weekend, but thanks to some surprise wildlife, you managed to squeak by.

Just don’t even think about pulling that rain stunt again when I’ve got a hike planned.

Rain belongs on Mondays. 

AREA - Pretoria East

COST - FREE

It never ceases to amaze me how the trails with free entrance can be as well kept and clean as the ones with an entry fee.

And this one was one of them!

DIFFICULTY - Easy

LENGTH 

Probably about 5km if you do both trails

TIME 

1 hour if you’re speed walking, 90 minutes if you enjoy it

ELEVATION - 113 m

This isn’t "flat” flat, but it is so subjective.

I’ve had people message me things like, “Would this be okay after surgery?”

I have absolutely no idea. I can barely assess what I should be doing, let alone someone with actual medical instructions.

My grading system is based entirely on the complaints of my own aging, unreliable body.

So no, probably not comparable.

In summary: not flat. But for me, in my current state of mild structural disappointment?

Manageable.

MARKERS 

Kinda… but to be honest if Pepper and I didn’t once question if we were on the right trail, then trust me, nobody is getting lost.  

HIGHLIGHTS  

Oh the wildlife...of course!!

ABLUTIONS - yes, even on the trail at some point.

SAFE FREE PARKING

AMENITIES 

We saw a restaurant on site, but decided to make our way home.

ON A FINAL NOTE

I have this sneaking suspicion that Klapperkop is some kind of hidden treasure. If anyone's got the intel, please, enlighten me—I'm all ears!