Grootfontein Bike Park: Sneaky Weekday Escapes with Basil and Boris

So my hiking pal Basil (person of Boris) messages me to tell me that she’s taking a Friday off. I faced a choice: sit in front of a laptop working like some tragic martyr, while she and Boris went gallivanting… or embrace the noble art of “accidental” hiking. Need I say more?

And before anyone rushes off to snitch to HR: this was completely above board and pinky-sworn. No workplace policies were harmed in the making of this adventure—unless we’re counting Boris’s personal code of conduct.

Dog-Friendly: The Boris Clause

Now, technically, Grootfontein Bike Park (discovered by the ever-resourceful Basil) isn’t exactly an off-lead dog trail - an absolute non-negotiable for Boris, who is firmly of the opinion that leashes are for peasants.

But Basil secured some magical weekday permission for him to roam free. Nothing scandalous, just a few creative interpretations of “guidelines.” Boris approved. Obviously.

And that’s the perk of a sneaky weekday escape: silence. No people. No cyclists. No rival fluff balls. And most importantly, no unsuspecting victims for Boris to offend while flaunting his leash-free freedom. Just the three of us and that rare kind of peace you can’t actually buy.

A Friday? Weird weather? Don’t know. Don’t care. It was perfect.

The Drive to Grootfontein Bike Park

On the way, I drove through Grootfontein Country Estate and instantly fell in love.

The energy? Beautiful.

The problem? Apparently, they don’t sell “quaint little lock-up-and-go cottage for future hiking hermit” models.

But fine. Whatever. I’ll just file it under manifestations in progress for when I quit working, mysteriously acquire obscene wealth, and dedicate my life to hiking.

Anyway, back to the hike.

To get to the bike park, you travel along a very doable sand road. And bless them, they open at 7 a.m. (be still my early-hike-loving heart). And the staff member rolled in on the dot, cheerful and ready.

Grootfontein Bike Park Coffee Shop: The Legendary Container

And then I saw it: a literal shipping container. Except not just a container—this thing had been reborn as a coffee shop, toilets, and even an upstairs seating area. Functional and hipster-chic.

Naturally, I immediately envisioned my future minimalist container home, plonked right in the middle of Grootfontein Country Estate.

Would the neighbours tolerate me parking my steel box in an open field? Doubtful. But hey—details.

Grootfontein Bike Park Hiking Experience

There are wide-open stretches, shady little forest pockets, and even a dam where Boris could daintily dip his paws like the four-legged aristocrat he thinks he is.

And then—surprise incline. Not brutal, but definitely not for the “if it’s not flat, I’m out” crowd either.

And just like that, another Boris-approved adventure with my special B&B crew was in the bag.

Trail Ratings & Info

AREA: Tierpoort, Pretoria

COST: R50

TRAIL DIFFICULTY 

Easy, with a sneaky incline (so nope, not flat)

TRAIL LENGTH

You get options: 5 km, 8 km, or 12 km. We aimed for 12… somehow landed up doing 8. But it was perfect.

TRAIL MARKERS

Yes… ish. Enough to get you mostly where you need to be—unless you’re geographically challenged (hi, it’s me). Then, yeah, a touch confusing.

WEATHER CONDITIONS TO CONSIDER

On hot days, it will get toasty. Bring water (with salt ofcourse).

ABLUTIONS

Yes—the container, remember?

PARKING

AMENITIES 

Coffee shop (bless), shaded seating for lazy post-hike lounging, kiddies’ play area for the spawn, clean bathrooms, and a kiddies track. Basically, they thought of everyone.

WILDLIFE AND BIRD LIFE

Birds and Boris

NOTE TO SELF

Continue manifesting, because honestly, why settle for a desk when trails exist?

FAMILY FRIENDLY

Absolutely

PET FRIENDLY

Yes, endorsed by Boris.

ON A FINAL NOTE

Grootfontein is a gem - scenic, peaceful, dog-friendly, and (most importantly) Boris-friendly (with a little Basil-style negotiating).

(TO)SOLO OR (NO)SOLO.

For me? Leaning (NO)SOLO — I have a reputation for getting lost before the first turn. But… this trail is tempting. I might just try it solo one day.

Normal, directionally gifted humans? Definitely (TO)SOLO.