Hiking — Where to Start: The Unfiltered Beginner’s Guide

So, I’ve been yada-yada-ing for a solid year now—rambling on about my trail misadventures, grumbling and gushing about hiking-related nonsense, and occasionally sprinkling in some “inspirational” life lessons like a budget self-help guru.

And yes, I may have overshared a tad—but hey, context is everything. Or at least that’s what I tell myself when I hit “publish.”

From Couch to Hiking Trail

However, there’s one thing I haven’t properly unpacked yet — and honestly, it might be the only topic I’m actually qualified to rant about: how to actually get off your couch and start hiking. Especially if you’ve reached "That Age"—you know, the one where people send you links to click on about “gentle stretching” and “light weights to maintain muscle mass.”

But here’s the thing: you’re not too old, you’re just surrounded by low expectations.

Valid Hiking Questions With Honest Answers

You’ve got questions. The kind you’re too polite to blurt out in public for fear of looking clueless, unfit, or dangerously under prepared.

Lucky for you, I’m not polite. And if even one couch-hugging sloth or gloriously crusty old sod laces up and starts hiking because of this, I’ll call it a public service. At the very least, I expect my heroic face slapped on a hiking boot with a warning label: "May cause spontaneous trail enthusiasm.”

Now let's get to the business at hand.

1. Are These “Beginner Hiking Trails” Actually Beginner-Friendly?

Short Answer: Probably Not.

Trail ratings are hugely subjective—what’s “easy” for a seasoned hiker might be your unexpected cardio crisis. And let’s not forget—many of these ratings are made by seasoned hikers.

So when you, the brand-new hiker, see "Easy" to "Moderate" on a trail description, translate it as: “You will probably suffer, but odds are you’ll live.”

It’s not malicious; it’s just that their version of “easy” is not the same as yours.

2. How Hard Is That Trail… Really?

If you’re a Late-Blooming Hiker, it might be hard. But it gets easier. Slowly.

One day you’ll go back to a trail that nearly killed you and realize you’re not huffing and puffing like a 90-year-old asthmatic pug. You didn’t die. You didn’t even almost die.

That’s progress. And yes, it’s absurdly rewarding.

3. Hiking Over 50: Is It Too Late to Start?

Nope. Pack your snacks—you’re coming with me.

I started hiking closer to 60, and by then all I’d really done for a few years, was walk around my neighborhood. That was my “fitness base.” Nothing fancy, nothing hardcore.

And guess what? The trail didn’t care. It doesn’t care how old you are, how much prep you’ve done, or whether your last workout was in the ’90s. The trail has one rule: just start walking on it.

Age isn’t always the villain—doubt is. I’ve seen 70-year-olds float uphill while 30-somethings ugly-cry into their electrolyte drinks. The difference? More trail time.

4. How to Pick Your First Trail.

Start with a flat 5 km. Sounds horrifying? Make it 3 km. Still too much? Fine—1 km. Just start.

You’re not training to summit Everest here; you’re training to get off the couch and out the front door.

5. Do I Need to Be “Fit” to Start Hiking?

Absolutely Not.

There is “gym fit” and there is “hiking fit.” Two very different beasts. You could be a cardio queen and still get broken on your first uphill hike.

And if you’re not fit at all? That’s fine. You build it. One curse word per step at a time.

6. What Gear Do You Actually Need as a Beginner Hiker?

Nothing. Seriously, stop shopping Brenda. Step away from that credit card. Put down the R 3000 hiking boots. You are not joining an Everest expedition; you are taking a walk with trees.

Your starter kit = shoes that aren’t disintegrating + water bottle (throw in a pinch of salt—thank me later) + maybe a cheap backpack. That’s it. Anything more is just “future clutter with a receipt.”

If you’re Googling “best ultralight trekking poles” before your first walk around the block, I beg you—log off. Your ankles don’t even know what a root feels like yet. Poles? Optional. Unless your knees hate you, or you’re desperate for accessories.

Because seriously—the first trail you should do is basically a glorified sidewalk.

You’ll figure out what you actually need as you go. And trust me, everyone has their own needs, find what suits you, not others.

7. What About Uphills?

Ah yes, uphills—the universal trauma bonding experience.

Beginners dread them, veterans curse them, and everyone pretends they’re “worth it for the view.”

Golden rule: as a newbie, avoid technical trails and inclines. Start flat. Build your confidence. Hills will come for you eventually.

And yes, uphills absolutely deserve their own ranty blog post. Stay tuned.

Start Hiking Today

Trails don’t hike themselves. Everyone’s different—your knees, your feet, your tolerance for hills—those are your needs, not Brenda’s, not Darryl’s, not anyone else’s.

And with every step, if you pay attention, you’ll learn just how much grit you’ve got buried under the doubt. You’ll find your determination, your resilience, and the raw stubbornness that carries you farther than you thought possible.

Because the magic doesn’t happen when it’s easy. It happens when your legs are on fire, your lungs are staging a full-scale mutiny, and your brain is screaming at you to quit—yet you take one more step. That’s where the strength lives. That’s the sweet spot.

Push past it, and you’ll realize you’re capable of more than you ever gave yourself credit for.

So go. Lace up. The couch will still be there when you get back.