Kianga Lodge Hike:Where There is Chaos, Cackles and & the Map Doesn’t Matter

jeeksparties8
Apr 14
3 min read

So Kianga Lodge was one of those hikes that had been loitering on my list for a while—you know, like that one friend you were always “gonna visit soon.”

So when a message popped up about it, I was there like a bear.

The crew? Small but mighty. Four hikers.. Average age? A fabulous number that rhymes with sixty. And honestly? We annihilated that trail. We hiked, we laughed, we wandered in highly committed circles, we bushwhacked like legends—and yes, we survived to tell the tale.

Now, I’ll try to give a legit commentary on the trail itself—but honestly, separating the terrain from the experience feels like trying to un-toast toast.

But apparently this is a review and not just a dramatic retelling of four legends wandering with purpose-ish.

Before we even started, the lovely guy at reception appeared at the start of the trail. I say "appeared" because I swear he teleported. One minute he was behind the desk, the next—poof—he’s standing there in the wilderness like some kind of Trail Elf.

He began to kindly explain the route, hand gestures and all.

Did I listen? Absolutely not. There were three other capable ladies in our group and, frankly, this was their moment to shine.

Scenic? Sure—there were flashes of breathtakingly stunning views and a whole lot of peaceful vibes.

But more importantly....adventurous? Oh, 100%. Think inclines, sketchy declines, scrambling, bushwhacking, and a respectable amount of confusion.

The establishment had warned us that due to recent rain, the 10 km trail markers were good up to a point. Past that? The jungle wins..

But we, in our 60-ish-year-old glory, scoffed at their caution. “Bring it on,” we said. And oh, it was brought. That’s where the magic really happened.

Personally, I was the chill one in the group - I know....how?? Well, while everyone else was low-key panicking that we might be off track, I was basically doing a zen forest meditation. This kind of off-road nonsense? Reroutes, detours, accidental new trails—just another day at the office for me—if my office has thorns, uneven terrain, and no WiFi.

But honestly? The chaos made it. We felt like the baddest of badass adventurers—grizzled (aka: mildly weathered and middle-aged) explorers forging our way through the wild unknown (read: a slightly overgrown path some toddler probably tackled last weekend), scanning the horizon like we were hunting for lost civilizations.

Am I being dramatic? Obviously. Oh, absolutely. But you get the picture, right?

In one of those “you had to be there” moments, I laughed harder than I’ve ever laughed on a trail—while we were bushwhacking through what could only be described as organized chaos—and our gangsta (yet adorable) organizer casually goes, “Wait, let me get the map.”

At which point, another hiker whips her head around so fast, eyes wide with pure, unfiltered betrayal, like she had just found out her soulmate has been hiding a secret family in another country. and yells, “YOU HAVE A MAP??”

But no—the map didn’t help us. At all. It was basically a useless piece of paper we carried for emotional reassurance and occasional dramatic effect.

In conclusion: 10/10 would hike with this badass bunch of bushwhacking warriors again. Would I recommend the trail? Absolutely. It was a good combination of everything a good trail needs, And believe it or not—beneath our nonstop yapping, laughing, and map-related meltdowns... it was a very peaceful and beautiful trail.

AREA - Centurion

COST - R 50

DIFFICULTY

Definitely not for beginners. Inclines, technical and all the fun bits.

LENGTH

Officially 10km. We did a sassy 8km.-because, well... confusion, detours, and a mutual agreement that “close enough” is a valid hiking philosophy.

TIME

One of those trails where it really doesn't matter.

ELEVATION

Yes, well again...doesn't really matter. Not for beginners, but not hugely elevated.