Kings Kloof: Third Time’s the Charm… Or Just Déjà Vu?

So, King’ Kloof. Again. Third time. By now, you’d think I’d have developed some kind of emotional attachment to this place—like a nostalgic little heart tug, a fond memory, maybe even a deep, spiritual bond with the trail. But nope.

My first time? Might as well have never happened. This was back in my pre-photo-taking, pre-blogging, pre-memory-retaining era. I went with Salt (one son), and since my brain works strictly on a “Are there photos to jog my memory? No? Then it didn’t happen” basis… poof. Gone.

Round two, I went with Pepper (other son), and it felt like a completely new trail. Why? Because my first attempt had been erased from existence. That time, we did the 7.5 km route, and it was nice—pleasant even. But mostly, I just made sure to get photographic proof so I wouldn’t have to repeat the whole whoops, forgot I did this thing. I then mentally filed it under “Been there, done that.......and got the photos.”

And yet… here we were. Again. Because a group hike popped up, and when I saw the 12 km option, my inner masochist went, "Why the hell not?"

Fine, I’ll admit it—hiking the same trail more than once does bring new experiences. Or, in my case, it just feels new because my brain is but a sieve. What memory?

With me, every repeat hike is just a reboot with slight variations. A remastered edition, if you will—same setting, same plot, but all the details? Gone.

Anyway, let’s talk about the hike itself. There are a good number of foresty bits—absolute gold. Give me magical, mystical, tree-lined paths, and I am thriving, make me feel like I belong in a Tolkien novel. Bushy, thorny nonsense? Not so much.

The extended route we took was not shaded for a large section. Pure hell if it had been sunny. Thankfully, the weather gods were feeling generous, and we got a cool, overcast day.

There are rock waterfalls, which were the highlight for me the last time, but this time? We breezed right past them. And honestly? Totally fine with that—too many people hovering around, and I am simply not about that crowded life.

Last time, Pepper and I went rogue and stumbled upon the waterfall—the A-class, VIP, exclusive-members-only one. If you can find that hidden gem, I highly recommend it. Way better than elbowing your way through the tourist-trap version.

And the climbs? Minimal. Just enough to make sure you know you’re hiking, but not enough to bust a lung.

Now, let’s talk. I’ve realized there are two types of hikers: those who want to take photos and those who are irritated by those who take photos.

Naturally, I’ve picked my side—I stick with the photo enthusiasts. That way, I can take all the pictures I want without feeling guilty. but when the eye-rollers start huffing, I can roll my eyes right along with them. “Ugh, these people with their endless photos, so annoying, right?” (Snap. Click. Snap again.)

Sorry guys, it’s not our fault, okay?. It is a disease. Every single time I take a photo, I swear it’s my last for now. And then, five steps later—boom! Another perfect shot. The struggle is real.

Someone in the group admitted she never takes photos but loves seeing the ones that others take. So really, we are performing a public service. You’re welcome.

So, what’s the overall verdict? Solid hike. Nothing life-changing. Nothing groundbreaking. Just a solid, morning spent walking in nature with awesome fellow hikers led by a trusty leader who never dissapoints. And honestly? Sometimes, that’s all you need.

And then, just as we wrapped up, the sky decided to open up and let loose. But guess what? We didn’t care. We were done.

King’s Kloof is great because it caters to all types of hikers—from the overly eager newbies who think hiking is just “walking with extra steps,” to the hardcore pros who probably consider a 12 km trail their warm-up.

AREA: Muldersdrift

COST: R 50

DIFFICULTY

Not flat, but won’t kill you. Not for beginners, unless you’re young and fit... in which case, I hate you.

LENGTH: Just under 12 km

TIME

3 ½ hours… because of those pesky photographers (huff, puff and eye roll)

ELEVATION: 229 m

MARKERS 

Pretty good… I think? Hard to tell when I’m blindly following a trusty leader. But the trails are well-marked with color-coded arrows, so getting lost requires actual effort. Unless, of course, you’re following me. In that case? Best of luck.

HIGHLIGHTS

Nature. Pure, unfiltered nature. Also, cows. I never get tired of cows. You’d swear I was spotting one of the Big Five with how excited I get. Oh, and monkeys. Yay. Plus, an assortment of creepy crawlies that I can now spot with the accuracy of a seasoned bush ninja.

ABLUTIONS

SAFE, FREE PARKING

AMENITIES

A coffee shop and food options like wraps and burgers.

NOTE TO SELF 

You have enough cow photos. Seriously.

SOLO OR NOSOLO?

For me, NOSOLO. Too many potential trip hazards, and if I’m going to land in a ditch, I’d like someone to at least witness it and provide commentary.

The shorter trail, maybe, but once you hit the longer routes, the crowds thin out, and then it’s just you… the trees… the monkeys… the unknown.

And the cows. Always the cows.