Kings Kloof Trails: The Hike I Forgot (And Apparently, Everything Else Too)

Oct 15, 2024
3 min read

Updated: Apr 23

My son Salt and I hiked Kings Kloof Trails back in the dark ages - before I felt the need to document every step.

You know, I was just a regular hiker chasing that elusive “inner peace” and an active lifestyle.

Now? Forget inner peace, if there’s no photo proof, did the hike even happen?

The only thing I remembered about this trail was that it wasn’t a favourite.

Too many zigzags,, like someone was just trying to hit the "longer trail" requirement by looping us around in circles.

Since our hike, Kings Kloof has been popping up all over Facebook - pics everywhere.

Waterfalls.

Lush forests.

People looking deeply fulfilled.

Naturally, I assumed they were all lying.

Curiosity got the better of me, so I dragged my other son, Pepper, along to verify whether we’d been unfair… or if the internet was simply doing what it does best.

We arrive, and I think, "I swear I’ve never been to this place."

There were a few trail options,, but it was already 9 a.m., which is basically afternoon for me (thanks, Pepper).

Also, His Worship was not in the mood for anything resembling effort, so we chose the 5 km waterfall route.

Naturally, because who picks "no waterfall"?

Well, apparently I did the first time because I definitely did not remember any cascading water.

The start of the hike? Let’s just say... underwhelming, just like my memory.

Some crumbling houses that scream “we left these here for ‘authentic’ trail vibes.”

The trail became a lot more scenic. Trees everywhere, giving me that enchanted-forest-meets-suburb vibe.

I’ve developed a soft spot for trees lately, so I allowed myself to be impressed.

Then we passed a fenced-off dam.

Possibly accessible, but I wasn’t about to suggest investigating - not with Pepper’s mood hovering between “meh” and “don’t even.”

But, of course, there were a couple of off-trail spots that were too tempting to skip.

I blame Salt’s influence; the man taught me to go rogue and find the hidden gems.

And guess what? Those detours were the best parts.

The first waterfall?

Calling it underwhelming feels generous.

It was more of a suggestion of water.

But I persisted, because clearly I am now an explorer of great importance.

A small detour later, we found a second waterfall.

Actual water.

Flowing.

Beautiful.

Of course, I had to get that perfect shot, and in the process, one of my hiking boots decided to fully commit to a mud bath.

But mud's all part of the charm, right?

And then, we finally reached the last waterfall… a stunning little area, of course.

As if to taunt me for my earlier cynicism, it was as if nature was sitting there, arms crossed, going, “Oh, you didn’t think I had it in me, huh?”

Touché, King's Kloof.

Touché.

On our way back to the car? Cows.

Cows everywhere.

Naturally, I had to take a photo. Because nothing says "I’ve hiked and conquered nature" quite like photographic evidence of grazing cows.

Except, my phone battery was down to 7%. I reach into my bag, smugly, like the seasoned hiker I am, for my trusty portable charger.

And then—no cable.

If you knew Pepper the way I knew Pepper, you would realise that relying on his phone for GPS, meant this was no longer a hike. It was a race against time,

Would we make it back to civilization, or be forging a new life amongst the cows?