Kutama: Boris In The Mist

This had been sitting on my list for a while, but the moment I discovered the magic words - dog-friendly AND off-lead - the decision was immediate.

This hike was officially reserved for the off-lead king himself: Boris

First Impressions

I phoned the number listed on Google.

Someone answered.

Ding ding ding. We have a winner.

This shouldn’t be impressive, but here we are.

You’d be amazed how many places don’t answer calls, reply to emails, or exist in some weird limbo of “are they closed or just aggressively ignoring everyone?”

If you’re running a business and you want people to arrive at your gate… answer your phone.

Wild concept, I know.

Rant officially over.

Let’s hike.

Basil the Rock Star (Yes, That Basil)

For this hike, Basil - Boris’s person - officially graduated from "person" to "rock star."

The weather forecast had been openly threatening us all week, with rain probabilities bouncing between 80–100%.

It was my last day before going back to work, but I’d been ridiculously spoiled with hikes all holiday, so I decided I wasn’t allowed to complain if I missed a hike,

Would I have anyway?

Absolutely.

Saturday night, Basil messages:

“We hiking tomorrow?”

Ma’am. Have you seen the forecast?

She suggested we “play it by ear,” which I translated to "absolutely not happening."

Sunday morning arrived. No rain. Just grey skies and bad attitudes.

I messaged her.

Her reply:

“Let’s go.”

I launched out of bed so fast I’m fairly sure there was a dust cloud left behind.

Getting There

There was light drizzle on the drive. But by the time we arrived, it was raining properly -not dramatic… just fully committed.

The route takes you through a very industrial area, which is the part where you start questioning your GPS.

But then - signage. Relief.

The property itself is a house converted for functions and accommodation.

Completely quiet.

Understandable, because It was 7:30 am on a Sunday morning, early in the new year, raining, and staff would have legitimately assumed the only people showing up would be a lost courier.

Two humans in hiking boots?

That was outside any reasonable expectation.

I phoned the number again. Someone came out, helped us, and showed us where the trail started (and tried not to look too confused about two people voluntarily hiking in the rain.)

Fair..

The Trail: Red, White, Blue… Surprise?

We were told to follow the red and white rocks.

Five kilometres out and back.

No loop.

I clarified - because this felt important:

"Red OR white?"

He repeated:

“Red AND white.”

Why?

Unclear.

But off we went.

The first 200 metres involved steep, slippery rock hopping in the rain. Very technical.

Very slippery.

My kind of fun....if it had actually been necessary.

Boris looked deeply offended, like this was not what he’d signed up for.

Basil remained silent, so naturally I pretended this was all perfectly normal.

About 30 minutes and 500 metres of cautious chaos later, the markings vanished thanks to overgrowth.

We descended back toward the fence - and that’s when I saw it.

A massive BLUE arrow.

Pointing to a path.

A real path.

A "why were we not on this path from the start" path.

Mist, Views & Finally Letting Boris Run

From that moment on, everything improved.

Boris ran freely instead of rage-hopping.

The rain stopped.

The mist rolled in, making everything look mystical and heavenly.

Then it lifted, revealing genuinely beautiful views.

We followed the blue markers until a painted rock marked “Finish”… in RED...., yes....red. 

But at this point, we’d stopped asking questions.

So we headed back the same way, safe, happy and still mildly confused.

By the time we returned, vendors were setting up for a kiddies party, the sun had come out, and life felt good.

I still have no idea what that first 500 metres was about - or whether we accidentally hiked a neighbour’s trail - but honestly?

It was a beautiful, memorable morning.

Would I recommend it? Absolutely.

Would I suggest you follow the blue arrows immediately?

Without question.

Basil - I salute your commitment to chaos...it appears the student might be becoming the teacher and I am both impressed and slightly terrified.

RATINGS

Trail Information

AREA

Akasia - Pretoria

COST

R 90

Trail Details

TRAIL DIFFICULTY

Easy… once you stop doing it wrong

TRAIL LENGTH

We did 8 km

TRAIL MARKERS

Confusing until you ignore them

TRAIL HIGHLIGHTS

Peaceful, mystical and magical

WEATHER CONDITIONS TO CONSIDER

Hot in summer—zero shade

ABLUTIONS

Present but uninspiring

SAFE FREE PARKING

AMENITIES

Event areas, braai spaces, AstroTurf field, swimming pool, accommodation

WILDLIFE & BIRD LIFE

Buck and baboons - not seen

NOTE TO SELF

If Boris looks offended, you’re on the wrong path.

FAMILY FRIENDLY

Yes

PET FRIENDLY

Yes

ON A FINAL NOTE

Follow the trail along the fence until you reach a clearly marked blue arrow.

From that point on, it’s practically impossible to get lost - although the red and white path did add a layer of adventure

(TO)SOLO OR (NO)SOLO

(NO)SOLO