Mokabi Olifantsnek: Episode 2 of Of Season One

This hike was led by none other than Esti from Saunterers.

For context, we attempted this hike late last year, but the weather rained us straight back to our cars.

When Esti said, “We’ll reschedule,” I assumed that meant sometime in the vague future.

Possibly 2027.

Or never.

But if you know Esti, you’ll know she does not believe in “eventually.”

Yes it was rescheduled.

Yes it was soon.

And yes, I hang my head in shame for doubting her.

What to Expect on an Esti-Organised Hike

Anything Esti touches instantly becomes an “epic adventure.”

She could take you on a quiet suburban stroll and somehow it becomes an extreme expedition through uncharted wilderness.

So even though the drive felt like I was heading to Limpopo (slight exaggeration, but not emotionally), I was genuinely excited to finally tackle the trail we’d previously only glanced at through rain droplets and disappointment.

It was great seeing familiar faces again — PK, Gaba and a fabulous group of awesome trail humans.

The Briefing That Lied (A Little)

Esti briefed us on two things:

The trail wasn’t well marked, so we’d go slowly and stick together.

The incline was “moderate.”

I ignored the first point.

It’s Esti. She hiked it the day before. You will get back to your car.

What I did hear, loud and clear, was “slowly” and “moderate.”

Mistake

The Never-Ending Incline

Esti’s version of “moderate” is clearly written in a parallel universe.

We were immediately launched into a relentless, technical incline.

At speed.

There was bushwhacking. Loose rocks. Scrambling.

I was stumbling around like a drunk auntie at a wedding, knocking my head on low branches.

Repeatedly.

I was already mentally drafting a farewell letter to the hiking community explaining why I hated everyone and would never hike again.

ESTI - HAG

And then… the rock formations.

Jaw-dropping.

Unreal.

So distracting I forgot I had just been assaulting trees with my forehead

Snacks were consumed. Photos were taken. Inner peace was temporarily achieved.

Then we went up again.

Because apparently one soul-crushing incline isn’t enough for personal growth.

The reward? Another ridiculous view.

Then PK — part-time menace — casually asked:“Anyone want to cross to the other peak?”

Esti, who is physically incapable of declining a challenge, immediately took off.

Another hiker and I followed, because I refuse to add “missed peak” to my emotional baggage.

The scramble was actually fine.

The views? Even better.

PK?He stayed behind to “conserve energy.”

Sure, PK. Sure.

The Real Definition of “Moderate”

Heading back down was, in fact, far more moderate.

Yes, Esti. THAT part was moderate.

Jack, a furry trail angel, stayed with us the whole hike, minded his business, and completely stole my heart.

Final Thoughts

It was tough.

It was technical.

Do I recommend you contact Esti like yesterday to book it?

Without hesitation.

Because Esti’s signature brand of chaotic brilliance has a way of erasing your memory of suffering just long enough to make you do it again.

Would I actually do it again though?

Sure.If airlifted to the top.

RATINGS

Trail Information

AREA

Rustenburg

COST

R 150

Trail Details

TRAIL DIFFICULTY

 Depends who you ask.

TRAIL LENGTH

8 km

Emotionally? Longer.

TRAIL MARKERS

Esti.

You need Esti.

TRAIL HIGHLIGHTS

The views.

The boulders.

Everything except the incline, which can go directly to jail.

WEATHER CONDITIONS TO CONSIDER

Very open trail.

We had cloud cover and a breeze, which possibly saved lives and friendships.

ABLUTIONS

SAFE FREE PARKING

AMENITIES

None

WILDLIFE & BIRD LIFE

Unclear.

I was far too busy slipping, scrambling, and headbutting low branches to notice.

NOTE TO SELF

Stop headbutting branches. They are not there to test skull density.

FAMILY FRIENDLY

Uuuum…

Only if your family consists entirely of mountain goats with strong ankles.

PET FRIENDLY

Probably....but not sure

ON A FINAL NOTE

There were beautiful pockets of foresty sections which changed the mood and helped with shade.

(TO)SOLO OR (NO)SOLO

(NO)SOLO

Don’t be ridiculous.