Remhoogte: The Revenge Hike

So lately, I've been hiking a few trails for the second time. And no, it’s not because I’ve run out of new ones. The Universe just kind of threw me a redemption tour. Some trails I did when I wasn’t yet documenting every step, gasp, and incline (don’t judge), so naturally... I remember nothing., and others were, well… fails. Glorious, sweaty fails  (If you can even call any hike a fail. I mean, nature’s still nature, even if you’re lost and crying a little.)

Which brings me to… Remhoogte. Ah yes, the crown jewel of my personal hiking fails.

A few months prior, my son Pepper and I had attempted it. We wandered around like two dehydrated explorers, completely baffled as to where the actual trail even started. It was hot. It was chaotic. Every path looked vaguely promising, until it didn’t.

After an hour, but what felt like an eternity, we called it and pivoted to something nearby, dragging our dignity behind us—well, mine anyway. Pepper didn’t care.

So when Remhoogte popped up on the Centurion Hiking Club calendar, I had to do it! . Time to face the ghosts of trails past. The only hesitation? That long sand road to get there. But hey, sand roads are basically my middle name now.

The Greek Church

This time? Smooth. The sand road didn’t even try to murder my car - must’ve been the radiant zen energy I was giving off (or maybe just lower expectations).

The hike was led by Lawrence and Lindi, who I call L-squared—the unofficial mom and dad of CHC hikes....well...if your mom and dad were really fit .... and slightly sadistic.

Lawrence has an annoyingly enthusiastic relationship with hills and seems to get a little sparkle in his eye as the group quietly falls apart behind him. But other than that, total sweetheart.

Lindi occasionally throws him a “Lawrence, they’re dying” side-eye, which usually buys us a brief moment to gasp for some air. That day? They hit that sweet spot between nurturing and murderous. We suffered, obviously—but, we lived. Mostly.

The actual trail? Oh, it’s a journey!

There is a solid walk from reception just to get to the real starting point. But once we finally kicked things off, I finally saw that Greek church I’d been determined to get to since my Van Gaalen era. The verdict? Meh. Possibly the most aggressively underwhelming bucket list item I’ve ever ticked off. Honestly, I blame myself—for building it up in my head like it was going to part the clouds and change my life.

But the rest? Certified win. Full-on Nadia’s Peak/ Vergenoeg energy—which makes sense, since you’re basically climbing the same mountains in the end. Same brutal climb, same "why did I voluntarily sign up for this?" vibe. And the views? Just...stupid beautiful.

The kind that slap you in the face mid-hike and have you hunched over, gasping, whispering, “Okay, okay, this is worth it.”

As for the descent—classic case of “downhill is the uphill with extra betrayal.” Slippery, sketchy, and determined to take you out if you get too confident.

There was the usual whisper of “maybe you’ll see vultures!” and of course, they were there… way over there. Like, “I-can-barely-see-them-even-with-zoom” kind of distant.

At this point, I’ve accepted that vultures exist purely to mock me. The closest I’ve ever seen them was on a trail where I wasn’t even looking for them. Absolute feathery swines..

Still, even from a distance, watching them glide overhead with effortless drama was kind of magical.

So thanks to the Mom, the Dad, and all the wild, sweaty siblings I didn’t choose but now hike with anyway—for an epic day of suffering, scenery, and semi-controlled chaos. Wouldn’t have it any other way.

RATING

AREA - Skeerpoort

COST - R 60

DIFFICULTY

Moderate to hard (and that’s in winter—summer? Well, good luck. You’re officially on your own, my friend.)

LENGTH

14 km with the trek to and from reception

TIME 

6 hrs

ELEVATION -  450 m

MARKERS 

Weeeell... let’s just say I am glad we had Lawrence!

Oh, and Remhoogte—let's pretend you’re reading this—can we please talk about the lack of trail markers from reception to the actual start?

I’m not asking for a neon-lit runway. Just, like... two or three little signs. Maybe one that doesn’t leave hot, confused hikers wandering around like dehydrated zombies for an hour before giving up. Just a thought. For the greater good. Or, at the very least, for lost souls like Hag and Pepper.

HIGHLIGHTS 

The views (yes, those views—worth the climb, the sweat, and the mild emotional damage).

Distant vultures silently mocking me from the sky.

ABLUTIONS 

SAFE FREE PARKING

AMENITIES 

Lodge accomodation

A restaurant

NOTE TO SELF

Well done, you. For exercising self-control and skipping the post-hike gathering. It was late, your blog wasn’t going to write itself, and those photos weren’t going to magically sort and edit. Priorities were prioritized!

ON A FINAL NOTE

It’s a tough one, no lies. But when you’re standing at the bottom and looking back up at what you just conquered? You’ll feel like a hiking superhero.

(TO)SOLO OR (NO)SOLO

(NO)SOLO