Rietvlei Zoo Farm: The Day I Accidentally Became All People-y

When Your Hiking Buddy Quits

Salt, my son and long suffering hiking buddy, finally tapped out. The man started looking like he was serving a court ordered sentence every time we hit the trail.

And honestly, if you’re going to act like you’re doing me a favour, please - don’t.

So, I decided to release him back into his natural habitat (the couch) and dip my toes into the mysterious world of group hiking.

Because apparently, that’s what people with “hobbies” do.

It took me nearly 60 years to discover hiking, so there’s no way I was going to let a minor hiccup like a hiking buddy going rogue keep me from it!

Solo Hiking at Modderfontein: The Prequel

I was supposed to go solo at Modderfontein on Saturday. And yes, I know—solo hikes are frowned upon for “safety reasons.” But it’s Modderfontein.

Anyway, before I could make a dramatic “trust fall” into a bush, an impromptu group hike popped up. Perfect timing! A casual stroll turned into my first real “group hike experience.” I even stayed for breakfast afterward—look at me, mingling like a functioning adult.

Rietvlei Zoo Farm Hike: The Main Event

I had previously committed to the Sunday hike (same Club as the Saturday), which was at the Rietvlei Zoo Farm in Alberton.

I woke up feeling under the weather and spent about an hour lying in bed debating with myself as to whether I should give it a miss. But a hag must hike, dammit! And I’m so glad I did.

The place was incredible. a place I didn’t even know existed but now want to move into. You can hike, cycle, picnic, buy coffee, and probably renew your passport while you’re there.

Usually, when a place has everything, the hike itself is just meh—a flat loop around the property with a thousand unnecessary zigzags. But not here. This place was legit, and the hike? Even better.

Getting Lost Before the Trail Even Began

Naturally, I got lost walking from my car to the group. Yes, on a straight path. It’s honestly a gift at this point. Eventually, I stumbled upon everyone—who, fun fact, had been right in front of me all along.

The group leader was warm, welcoming, and irritatingly nice. The others were delightful, too. Everything was too good. How was I supposed to maintain my reputation as a mildly irritable, sarcastic hiker if everyone behaved perfectly?

What would become of my reputation if I couldn’t find something to roll my eyes at? Even worse...would I end up being nice?? But then I remembered—if there’s anything to be annoyed by, rest assured, I'd find it!

The Trail Itself: Surprisingly Legit

I kicked things off with a cappuccino from a charming coffee shop. There was also a little shop where you could buy other goodies.

Then we started the trail. What a pleasant surprise. The trail was dotted with cute little inspirational signs and offered options galore: flats, inclines, a few technical bits, but all totally manageable. Different lengths, opting out if you feel you've had enough.

Wildlife? No

Did we spot any wildlife? Of course not! You’d think a place with Zoo and Farm in the name would deliver some animal action. Nope. Not a cow, not a bird, not even a disinterested goat.

But, they'll probably make an appearance when I’m least expecting it.

We finished off with a breakfast......who knew group hikes would turn me into someone who actually enjoys hanging around people?

At this rate, I'll be signing up for book clubs and wine tastings next. What has happened to me?

RATINGS

AREA - Alberton

COST - R 40 pp

DIFFICULTY - Moderate

Definitely do-able by young and old, perhaps at different paces.

LENGTH - 8 km

There are various different lengths

TIME - 3 hours

ELEVATION -  151 m

MARKERS - Great

ABLUTIONS - Great

SAFE FREE PARKING

AMENITIES

Loads Google it...i am too busy planning my next hike to spoon feed you lot.

ON A FINAL NOTE

If you’ve got kids, friends, or just a vague sense of curiosity, set aside the full day for Rietvlei Zoo Farm. There’s so much to do that nobody’s getting bored—and if you somehow do get lost, congratulations. You’ve just made the hike longer and yourself more interesting