So....Tierpoort Adventure Farm

People ask me, "Why do you hike?" I ask them, "Why don’t you hike?"

Their answers are always the same.

"I don’t have time."

Why?

"Because I work."

Me too.

"I run a home."

Me too.

"I have kids."

Ah, yes, those delightful little soul-suckers. Me too. But if they are currently at that age of being full-time energy and money vampires, here's an idea: take them with you! You’ll save time, money, and maybe what’s left of your sanity.

"I’m a single mom."

Me too.

"I need to shop."

Checkers 60/60?

"I need to see my friends."

Slightly trickier as my friends are perfectly happy to see me doing something that makes me happy (or...Scout’s honour. after 20+ years, they are happy to get rid of me at every opportunity.) Or one might begrudgingly tag along once in a while.

So, why do I hike?

I hike to breathe......actual air. To stay sane. To keep moving. To be in nature. To stay alive!!

Enter the entitled Diva......I chose Tierpoort as it had been on my radar for a while—part of both my "frequently mentioned" list and my "shaded hikes in sweltering heat" list. (Yes, I have list issues. Let’s not unpack that right now.)

Let me start by saying I’m not really in the business of naming and shaming—everyone experiences places differently, with their own likes, dislikes, and expectations. There is nothing necessarily wrong with this trail, but not everything was necessarily right either.

This was my experience..... not awful, but seems to contradict the great reviews that I had read. Having said that, a lot of the reviews were about the mountain biking trails.

My first gripe (totally a me problem) was the sand road leading to the venue. Why? Well, it was sand—enough said. The last stretch felt like it was designed for off-road vehicles, not your average little car.

As we entered there was a man with a credit card machine to take payments. When we pulled off Pepper asked why I didn’t get more details, to which I brilliantly replied, “I’m sure someone is there to explain" Well...that person landed up being a motorcyclist I tracked down, who was there to ride the trails for the day. He was very helpful, but was not familiar with the hiking trails, so basically pointed to where we start and said he thinks the trails are well marked.

We took a photo of the trail map on the wall, and decided we were going to do the 10km...which could have been....well...all of the colors. Oh well...must be simple and self explanatory we thought. Uuuuum......not so much!

The trail was pretty in parts and mostly flat—perfect if you’re after a relaxing, meandering stroll in nature. And we were basically alone, except for one couple at the start, so it was quiet. There’s a stream that runs alongside the trail for a good chunk, which adds to the calm vibes. And yes, there are some inclines, but nothing to freak out over. Plus, it’s fairly well-shaded, so the promise of not melting was kept. Gold star for that.

Then there was a couple pieces of barbed wire sticking out at ankle level at one point. Lucky for Pepper, his shoelace took one for the team, Imagine if his brave little shoelace hadn’t taken the hit, his ankle would've been skewered for sure. My poor Pepper... can you even imagine?

But seriously, I get that stuff happens in the great outdoors, and I’m not expecting them to sweep the place every morning. That said, it could've really messed someone up.

Oh, and I took a "graceful" tumble myself a few minutes earlier thanks to some loose sand. But that one’s all on me—can't blame the trail for my clumsiness.

AREA - Pretoria

COST - R 50 credit card

DIFFICULTY

Easy with slight inclines here and there

LENGTH

Various options from 2 km to 10 km. We think we did about 7-8 km? Who knows, really.

TIME - 1 hr 15 min

ELEVATION - 201 m

MARKERS

They were confusing at best. For us, anyway. We spent a good deal of time zigzagging and wondering if we were going in circles or headed for the nearest exit. But on the upside, it's hard to get lost.

HIGHLIGHTS

A couple of pretty sections here and there.

ABLUTIONS - good

SAFE FREE PARKING

AMENITIES

I saw none

ON A FINAL NOTE

If you’re into camping, mountain biking, motorcycling, or running, this place is probably great for you. As a hiker? Meh. Not super impressed.

Pepper, whose a sucker for “the bush,” which ranks slightly lower on my list of preferred landscapes, quite enjoyed the landscape. But different strokes for different folks,

BACKTRACKINGON MY ENTITLED PRINCESS ATTITUDE!

The reason I started this blog all sanctimonious like, was to remind myself that every hike is a gift that keeps on giving.. (Didn't stop me from whining, though!)

But, actually, THANK YOU Tierpoort. You did provide some solid nature therapy—there were trees, a stream, and enough scenic wonder to make me feel like I’d escaped the hell I call “Joburg” for a few hours.

The next time you ask me why I hike, the real question is..... why don't you?