The Great Camping Scam - Camping vs. CAMPING: A Tale of Two Tents

So, my recent camping trip taught me a very valuable lesson - there’s camping, and then there’s CAMPING.

Sound the same?

Oh no, my sweet summer child - one is the old school, character building, pack light, rough it experience: grab a tent, throw in some basics, pack your snacks, and off you go.

Then there’s CAMPING. The kind where your tent is not so much a tent as it is a canvas clad mansion - the kind where you can walk in upright instead of awkwardly crab-crawling in - and let me tell you, at 58, crab-crawling is a tad crap.

It’s not quite full-blown glamping, but it’s close.

Your “sleeping bag” is a king-sized, self-inflating air mattress that looks more luxurious than the sad excuse for a bed you have at home.

You have a kettle.

A sink.

Possibly a mini-fridge.

Mood lighting? Probably.

An alarm system? Hopefully - because, you know, campground crime.

Nothing says “rugged outdoor adventure” quite like brewing a perfect cup of tea in your portable kitchen - while your unfortunate tent neighbours (me. I am the unfortunate tent neighbours) - are putting their lives at risk, trying to connect the portable gas stove to the portable gas canister without causing an explosion.

See, I was under the impression that camping was meant to be a budget holiday. Turns out, there’s a choice:

1. You can have a "camping" holiday, where you rough it like it’s 1995 and embrace true suffering. (Yes, again, me. I suffered. Truly.)

   
   

2. Or you can have a CAMPING holiday, where, thanks to Shein and Temu, you can virtually purchase an entire campsite for the price of a Vida e Caffè order.

   
   

3. Or, if you’re feeling particularly financially reckless, you can take out a small (ish) loan and buy everything at your local camping store - for significantly more money -but with the undeniable satisfaction of superior quality (and the deep, lingering regret of checking your bank balance afterward).

   
   

   Either option 2 or 3 gets you to a level of comfort where you start to question - "do I even need to go back home? Or is this tent - fully furnished, climate-controlled, and more aesthetically pleasing than my actual house—just my new reality now?"

Either way? That whole “camping is a cheap getaway” thing? - not so much.

Camping might be cheap. CAMPING, on the other hand, is just Airbnb with extra mosquitoes.

But Hey, I Did Learn a Few Things...

1. A brilliant suggestion from a Facebook comment (shoutout to the wisdom of internet strangers!) - instead of getting frustrated with an inflatable pillow that will inevitably disappoint you - just bring an empty pillowcase and stuff it with your jacket.

   
   

   Boom. Instant, comfy pillow.

   
   

   And yes, I listened. And yes, I was grateful.

   
   

2. The Plastic Bag System – Sage, my also first-time camper (but once off multi-day backpacker), had another game-changing tip (for my next trip) - pack each day's clothes, food, electrolytes, whatever, in a separate reusable bag.

   
   

   That way, you’re not digging through your entire backpack every time you need something.

   
   

   And before you start yelling “BUT THE ENVIRONMENT!”—calm down, they’re reusable.

   
   

Would I Do It Again?

Now that it’s been a minute post-hike, am I thinking... maybe? Just maybe?

Well, if I CAMP as opposed to camp… definitely.

And as one of my much loved (and far wiser) hiking buddies puts it: “Why suffer if I don’t have to?”

Why, indeed.

Of course, this means I’ll need to save money… so I can spend more money… on gear that will save me money… on trips that, mysteriously, still cost a fortune. Whatever.

Just smile, wave, and embrace the adventure, right?

And in the meantime, if you’re one of those bougie CAMPERS - can I borrow your kettle?

Oh - and that portable toilet that’s suspiciously nicer than the one in my own home?