Voortrekker Monument: Manifestation, History & the Stairs I Politely Declined

Apparently Manifestation Is Real (Fight Me)

If anyone tells me manifestation is a figment of my imagination, they are, quite frankly, smoking their socks.

The Voortrekker Monument has never been on my list.

It lived in my head as an “educational walk,” which - ADHD brain - is basically my kryptonite.

History PLUS slow walking? Absolutely not. Respectfully.

And yet, December does funny things to people.

Places close.

Humans vanish.

Suddenly you’re doing suburban and urban trails and realizing that, shockingly, there is a time and place for everything.

Somewhere in this weird festive purgatory, I WhatsApped myself a trail at the Voortrekker Monument (as one does - don’t make it weird).

Not because I was keen.

But because Future Me might be.

At some vague point.

Possibly never.

And then - BAM.

Within days, what appears on one of my hiking club chats?

A Voortrekker Monument hike.

On a day I hadn’t already booked another hike.

Coincidence? Please.

The Universe didn’t whisper. It shoved.

Who am I to ignore a shove?

What Stairs??

It was arranged as a training session for a multi-day hike, which is how phrases like “start with the stairs” started floating around.

"Before and after the hike."

Like a threat.

After confirming - very carefully - that I did not have to partake in this unacceptable cardio madness, I accepted immediately.

I did assume I’d be loitering awkwardly while others punished themselves on staircases.

Turns out, I needed even more time.

I could have spent hours there.

Easily.

Everywhere I looked there were little nuggets of history.

Bits. Bobs. Knick-knacks.

Breadcrumbs just lying around demanding attention.

Everything begged to be photographed.

Relentlessly.

This is not my fault. This is a public service.

Walking Through History

I don’t enjoy learning about history.

There. I said it.

But I love feeling like I’m walking through it.

Huge difference.

The experience reminded me of Wonderboom - but cleaner, calmer, and with far less “rugged charm.”

The grounds are impeccably maintained, and I was genuinely surprised to discover that there’s an actual trail.

I was mentally prepared for a casual historical meander.

I was not prepared for effort.

Trails, Sort Of (But Also Not Really)

The trails exist, but are not well marked and slightly confusing.

So we did bits of it here and there and then collectively decided to just… walk.

Which suited me perfectly.

How far did we walk?

No clue.

How long were we out there?

Irrelevant.

Was it exactly what the doctor ordered?

Undeniably.

Sometimes distance and pace simply aren’t the point.

At one point, we sat under the most spectacular tree.

Some people snacked.

Some wandered off on a proper history tour.

I, naturally, stayed put and took photos.

So many photos.

Because if history didn’t want to be documented, it really shouldn’t have looked that good.

There are ox wagons scattered around like casual historical mic drops.

It’s one of those places where something is always happening - whether you’re hiking, running, touring, wandering, or sitting quietly pretending you’re not learning anything.

We followed the hike with a post-hike binge at the restaurant.

Because balance.

Right Place, Right Time

So, thank you to the Boksburg Hiking Club for dropping this experience directly into my lap at exactly the right moment.

RATINGS

Trail Information

AREA

Pretoria

COST

R 55 which feels like excellent value considering the history, the views, the wandering, and the general experience.

Trail Details

WHAT'S THERE?

The monument (obviously), looming from almost every angle

Park-run routes

A charming coffee shop

A museum

Apparently you can even braai there, which feels aggressively South African

ABLUTIONS

SAFE FREE PARKING

NOTE TO SELF

Manifestation is real. I will not be taking questions at this time.

FAMILY FRIENDLY

Absolutely. There’s a play area with a mini farmhouse -small humans will be thrilled.

PET FRIENDLY

No

ON A FINAL NOTE

Sometimes the places you least expect end up being exactly what you needed - minus the stairs, plus the coffee and photos.

Highly recommended for a memorable day out. You could very easily spend the entire day there.

(TO)SOLO OR (NO)SOLO

(NO)SOLO for the hike.

Totally (TO)SOLO for the wandering, exploring, and slow walking with zero agenda.