De Wildt Adventure Trails: The Wild Dog Trail

Why I Signed Up for This Madness

Two reasons I jumped at this hike with Boksburg Hiking Club.

Firstly, the leaders: Shireen and Darren.

These are not “let’s all bond and play icebreakers” people.

No forced fun.

No “say your name and one interesting fact” trauma.

No.

These people speak my language.

We hike.

We eat.

We sleep.

We briefly socialise between hikes… mostly because it would be rude not to.

They’re basically me - just younger, fitter, faster, and dramatically less offended by uphill sections.

Don’t get me wrong, social hiking weekends are life-changing for some people. I respect that.

Me? I don’t exist to socialise.

I exist to be quietly on a trail, surrounded by nature, where my awkward social disposition can betray me as little as possible.

Also, it’s De Wildt.

Close and convenient.

Nice Surprise

I had only discovered the day before (after finally reading group messages from months back) that we’d also be doing a late afternoon/early evening hike to catch the sunset and - if the universe felt generous - the full moon.

That part?

I was beyond thrilled.

Finally.....I was going to see a sunset from a mountain top.

The Early Start

We fully intended to leave at 6:30 on Saturday morning (as previously stated - "my people"), but the weather had other ideas.

Specifically: rain.

By 7:00 we were off - mentally preparing for pain and suffering, having been warned the trail was “tough.”

You know. That vague word people use when they don’t want to frighten you but absolutely should.

Wait… WHAT Trail Is This?!

We started as a tribe of 10 in glorious, cool weather - which felt suspiciously like nature buttering us up.

It did not last.

The trail starts by going up.

Then, just to be clear, it keeps going up.

It gives you two generous minutes of hope - and then remembers its purpose and goes up again.

I was deep in my “I hate everyone, especially Shireen and Darren (they were no longer my people)” phase when I started seeing "Honey Badger" Trail signs.

This is when I became absolutely convinced that I was redoing the Honey Badger Trail.

Now listen.

Honey Badger is a trail I’ve done, loved, survived, and proudly ticked off my list.

I felt like a legend.

A hero

A warrior

But redo it?

Hell no.

When it became clear we were looping through the same trail system, I reacted like a malfunctioning GPS, shouting “recalculating” on repeat in my head - completely unable to accept that the Wild Dog Trail could, in fact, be the Honey Badger Trail masquerading as something new.

The Illusion of Choice

Because I am a person who virtually NEVER wants to hike the same trail twice (even though I forget them immediately, making this a pointless principle), I had to accept a hard truth:

De Wildt trails all loop into each other.

Much like Nadia’s Peak and her many cousins, you think you’re choosing something new - but it’s the same suffering, just rearranged.

I had decided, if that trail ended with the same demonic incline as Honey Badger, I would sit down on a rock and wait for my chopper.

No negotiations.

When I realised the hike did not end with that soul-crushing climb, I relaxed… marginally.

Enough to stop planning my dramatic extraction and start enjoying the company - and the shared misery.

The Hike I Hate… Until It’s Over

This is one of those hikes.

The kind you hate while you’re doing it.

The kind where you complain, swear, question your fitness, your choices, and your entire lifestyle.

The kind where you loudly declare, “I am NEVER doing this again.”

And then it ends.

And suddenly you’re on top of the world.

You conquered the height.

You survived the suffering.

And you’re simultaneously proud, exhausted, and slightly embarrassed about how melodramatic you were.

And that feeling?

That’s why we keep going back.

Final Verdict

I won’t go into too much detail—just read my Honey Badger post and mentally delete the final soul-crushing incline.

But here’s the truth:

You will suffer. The inclines never end, the descents require focus and self-preservation, and if it’s hot…congratulations - you are now part of the De Wildt rotisserie program.

You need to be a regular hiker (or at least someone who enjoys mildly masochistic outdoor activities).

And if you survive it, you’ll feel like an absolute superhero - slightly less legendary than after Honey Badger, but still very, very heroic.

Apologies to our patient leaders and the awesome team for all the moaning, dramatic sighing… and maybe a few very loud muttered complaints and (mostly internal) commentary for the full 10.5 km trail.