Thabela Thabeng Guest Farm: Hiking for Glory (and a Free T-Shirt)

So the destination for the day was Thabela Thabeng Guest Farm near Parys.

I’d hiked one of their many trails before and, like any rational adult, decided I needed to complete all of them.

Not for fitness.

Not for inner peace.

For the free t-shirt.

And before you start with the judgment, it’s not about the free shirt.

It’s about recognition.

A concept hiking as a “sport” has firmly declined to engage with.

No medals.

No podiums.

No one clapping as you wheeze past.

No “most improved.”

Not even "spirited".

Just sore legs and toes that have clearly been through something traumatic - several of them no longer speaking to me.

So yes, the shirt matters.

It’s not merch.

It's a badge of honor stitched in sweat, mud, and tiny fragments of toenail.

JOY - HAG - ROSEMARY

The Hiking Crew

The tribe for the day started with "Joy" - not her real name, but honestly, it should be.

She radiates happiness, positivity, and has a smile that could probably de-escalate a hostage situation.

So, imagine me ..... then remove all joy, optimism, and general sparkle.

That’s Joy.

We’ve done a few group hikes together before, so I casually mentioned this plan ages ago.

She said yes immediately.

Then there’s Rosemary - my long-suffering tribe member, currently based in the Vaal, which I optimistically described as “on the way.”

Because we love efficiency (and poor planning disguised as efficiency), I asked.

She also said yes.

No “what does this involve?”

No “how many kilometres are we talking?”

Just immediate agreement.

That’s our Rosemary - efficient, agreeable, and willing to commit to things with zero context.

A real keeper.

Somewhere in between, Joy quietly recruited additional humans - because she attracts people.

Effortlessly.

I don’t attract.

I maintain.

Barely.

The Seed Was Planted

Now, I have notoriously fabulous ideas.

Execution, however, is where things begin to… drift.

Enter Joy.

The night before the hike, she created a WhatsApp group, shared directions, sent reminders, aligned the planets, and generally ran the whole thing like a mid-sized logistics company.

We arrived to a briefing.

Clear. Organised. Professional.

Meanwhile, my contribution was… the idea.

And even that feels generous.

The Trail

The drive there came with low, heavy clouds.

But I’d hiked in the rain with both Joy and Rosemary before, so I was reasonably confident there would be no dramatic last-minute cancellations.

We believed we had chosen the Heritage trail.

Turns out, the trails at Thabela don’t so much “exist separately” as they quietly merge into one another and let you figure it out later.

We started in a light drizzle and were immediately introduced to an incline that felt… rude.

At some point, mid-respiratory decline, I asked who was leading.

Joy.

This was surprising, because I had confidently categorized her as a “leisure hiker.”Slow pace. Occasional stops. Respectful appreciation of foliage.

Incorrect.

When Joy is in charge, she transforms into a high-functioning hiking cyborg - taking in the scenery while powering up hills like she’s being chased by something with teeth.

But joyfully - which somehow makes it worse.

Scenic Highlights

Early on, we passed a cave - familiar territory from a previous visit.

After that, everything changed though.

The trail delivered a mix of tough climbs, flat-ish stretches and constantly changing landscapes.

The rain stopped briefly, just long enough for us to trust it again, then returned for a full hour of commitment. towards the end.

Ordinarily, I love hiking in the rain.

It’s peaceful.

Atmospheric.

Magical and mystical.

Except this time, my phone stayed in my bag.

The rain was relentless, and I wasn’t about to test whether my phone is actually waterproof or just optimistically advertised.

So instead of documenting the experience, I was present for it.

Which is, apparently, the point.

I remain unconvinced. and honestly - I feel robbed.

Would I Go Back?

If I can continue chasing the t-shirt without accidentally hiking the same trail five times in different lighting, then absolutely.

If not, we’ll need to renegotiate.

Possibly involve legal.

Also worth mentioning: the 10km sand road to get there.

It’s the kind of road where, halfway through, you’re convinced you’ve made a terrible decision - and then, once you’re home, showered, and slightly smug - you completely forget about it.

What a fabulous day though!

An adventurous trail, great people and scenery that makes you briefly forget your suffering.

Thank you to the leader, the sweeper and everyone in between.

And I am one step closer to that deeply unnecessary t-shirt.

Because if hikers aren’t getting medals, we’ll settle for cotton.

RATINGS

Trail Information

AREA

Buffelskloof Farm, Vredefort Dome, Parys

COST

R50 (group discount — we love a bargain moment)

Trail Details

TRAIL DIFFICULTY

Not beginner-friendly. There are inclines. Real ones.

SWEEPER - HAG

TRAIL LENGTH

We did 8 km

TRAIL MARKERS

Present.

Ignored.

I followed Joy.

Otherwise I would have failed dismally.

WEATHER CONDITIONS TO CONSIDER

Some shade, but plenty of exposed sections.

ABLUTIONS

SAFE FREE PARKING

AMENITIES

Accommodation and a restaurant on-site.

Pizza only - which feels limiting .... unless you like pizza.

WILDLIFE & BIRD LIFE

We heard baboons bellowing.

They heard us suffering.

Mutual awareness was established.

NOTE TO SELF

It's never bad to go with people more organised than you.

FAMILY FRIENDLY

Yes

PET FRIENDLY

No

ON A FINAL NOTE

This landscape is refreshingly different from your typical Magaliesberg landscape.

It’s worth the drive, the climb, and the mild identity crisis halfway up a hill.

(TO)SOLO OR (NO)SOLO

(NO)SOLO