Wonderboom: The Revenge Hike

So, the summer rains (must they??) ruined my weekend hiking plans.

But when you have Rosemary as your hiking buddy, you simply do not worry.

You say “iffy Saturday with maybe-rain”? She’s in.

You say “Sunday with 100% chance of biblical flooding”? Still in.

So I unclenched.

Thousand-year-old wild fig

Returning to Wonderboom (Just To Get It Done)

Saturday looked the least like a meteorological disaster, so I chose Wonderboom—because apparently I can’t leave things alone.

In the early days, I attempted it with my sons, Salt and Pepper.

We made it ten minutes before realizing there were no markers, no discernible trail, and somehow we were being treated as the “experts” by other confused hikers.

We called it and went elsewhere..

So, the only person I completely trusted to face it with me was Rosemary, my human GPS.

There's also rumours of a waterfall, and equally rumours that you never actually see it on the hike.

So I pointed it out to Rosemary from the highway, forgetting that with Rosemary, that's essentially double-daring her to track it down at all costs.

Round Two.

Wonderboom still has virtually no markings.

But Rosemary chose left (we’d chosen right last time) and boom - the whole trail behaved like......well, a trail.

I was instantly humiliated on behalf of Past Me.

Wonderboom… A Lovely Surprise I Was NOT Expecting

Honestly, I expected nothing more than ticking this off my list.

The last thing I expected was a hike in the middle of Pretoria to become one of my most memorable.

Yet here we are.

For most of the trail, you get panoramic views of the city -gorgeous, dramatic, and impossible to capture in a single photo. (Trust me, I tried.)

There’s loads of history, which normally short circuits my attention span, but Rosemary had Google-fresh nuggets of info and handed them out at perfect intervals.

The Iconic Wonderboom Tree

At the start you meet the thousand-year-old wild fig - the actual Wonderboom.

Huge. Dramatic. Very much giving “I’ve seen things.”

The 19th-Century Fort

Then comes the climb to the old fort.

I’ve seen plenty of ruins on trails, but this one looks like you could slap on a roof and an Airbnb listing and someone would actually book it.

Rosemary and I wandered separately, mesmerized, soaking in the quiet energy of centuries past.

Honestly, I could practically FEEL the history around us.

Never have we been so "un-bantering" for that long.

The Waterfall

After the fort, we headed toward the waterfall trail - aka the confusing area from last time.

It's still confusing.

Did we see the elusive waterfall?

Of course we did. I practically double-dared Rosemary.

City of Tshwane: Gold Star

The reserve is spotless, well maintained, and honestly I was in perpetual awe - until the trail decided to humble me.

The Fall Heard Around My Entire Nervous System

My awe ended abruptly.

We were descending a slightly technical decline, and I turned to Rosemary to put my phone in my backpack, for once trying to be responsible, which

apparently, at my age, is the least responsible thing to do.

Distracted, I executed an ungraceful bum-slide down loose rocks… while my left leg stayed put.

One week after bragging I hadn’t fallen in ages (in a blog I haven’t even posted yet)…

And don’t even with the “if you had a pole....”

No pole would have saved that situation.

I finished the trail with a limp and a mood - because HOW DARE the Universe try to take what still works on this body.

I swear, at this point I’m held together by willpower, caffeine, and stubbornness.

After the initial verbal assault, I rationalized that the Universe had maybe been thoughtful.

Sunday had a 100% chance of rain. We had agreed to play it by ear. anyway. So for the first time since I started hiking, I’d actually resigned myself to possibly missing a hike because of weather.

So, if I had to be temporarily out of action on a Sunday, fine, this would’ve been the one.

I accept it.

But listen Universe, I have big plans for next weekend. Big.

Do not make me hobble up a mountain and embarrass myself.

I will do it - because I’m stubborn and unwise - but do not make me.

Trail Information

AREA: Pretoria

COST: R50

Trail Details

DIFFICULTY

Not for beginners—inclines, declines, a few technical bits—but very doable.

LENGTH

Around 5 km, but you’ll feel it.

MARKINGS

Practically none.

WEATHER CONDITIONS TO CONSIDER

Very exposed.

ABLUTIONS

SAFE FREE PARKING

AMENITIES

None

WILDLIFE & BIRD LIFE

Evidence seen.

NOTE TO SELF

Don’t choose the “responsible” option. It will betray you.

FAMILY FRIENDLY

Yes.

PET FRIENDLY

No

ON A FINAL NOTE

There used to be a guided tour- I imagine it would’ve been fascinating.

Once home, I was (briefly) tempted to do a little research into the trail's history, but that felt dangerously close to academia, and I will not be bullied into knowledge.

I simply refuse to start accumulating facts on purpose.

(TO)SOLO or (NO)SOLO

(NO)SOLO